My Child Isn’t Talking Much. How Can I Help Them Talk More?

Your toddler is standing in front of the pantry. They’re tugging on you, whining, and pointing toward the crackers on the top shelf. Maybe they pull your hand and lead you to the pantry. Maybe they try to climb up themselves. Or maybe they’re getting frustrated and crying because you haven’t figured out what they want yet.

If only my child could just tell me what they want.  Things would be so much easier…

If you've found yourself wondering,

"Should my child be talking more by now?"

"How do I help them learn more words?"

"Why are they still pointing instead of asking?"

You're not alone.

As a pediatric speech-language pathologist, these are common questions parents ask me.

And to start, we need to talk about communication as a whole. Because communication is more than just talking.

Communication includes gestures, such as reaching or pointing, vocalizations (such as “eh eh eh”), facial expressions, and physically handing you something they want. Your child may already be communicating with you in lots of ways, even if they aren’t using many words yet.

My goal as an early intervention speech therapist is to help children communicate and help parents learn what they can do to support them.

So what can you do to support your child’s communication? 

Here are four simple strategies you can start using today.

1. Follow your child’s lead.

Watch what your child is doing and notice what they’re interested in. Get down on their level. Listen for what they might say or try to say.

Children are more motivated to communicate about things they’re interested in. Think about yourself. If you aren’t into something, do you really want to talk about it?

By joining in with what your child is already doing, you have something they actually want to communicate about.

2. Model language for them. 

However your child is communicating, whether it’s pointing, looking, making sounds, or pulling your hand, add words to it.

Think: What might they want to say right now? 

Then model those words for them.

“Help!”

“Open!”

“Banana.”

“Want banana.”

“Bear!”

“Give me bear.”

When you model words in the moment, it helps your child connect the words they’re hearing to what is happening right then.

Children need to hear words many times before they understand  and use them. So don’t worry about sounding repetitive. Repeating the same simple words during everyday routines is helpful.

3. Pause and wait. 

One simple way to encourage more communication is to pause before helping. If your child hands you a closed snack container, hold it for a moment, smile, and wait. Instead of asking, "What do you want?" or "Can you say open?" simply model the word: "Open." Then give them a few seconds to respond. 

They might look at you, make a sound, point, or try to copy the word. Whatever they do, it counts. Respond to their attempt to communicate and then help them.  

As parents, we get really good at anticipating what our kids need. And honestly, most of the time we have things to do and places to be, so waiting can be hard! 

But sometimes we move so quickly that our child doesn’t get a chance to communicate.

You don’t need to withhold what they want or make them say a word first. Just pause for a few seconds, watch, and give them a chance to communicate. 

4. Make sounds and words fun! 

Add fun sounds to play, books, and everyday routines. Silly or surprising sounds can grab your child’s attention, and make communication fun. 

Try:

• animal sounds: moo, woof, baa

• environmental sounds: beep beep, knock knock, vroom

• exclamations: wow! uh-oh! yay! wee!

  
  

Change your voice too. Get loud, get quiet, whisper, stretch out a word, or say it in a silly voice.

You don’t need to plan a special “language activity” or add anything else to your day. Pick just one strategy and try to implement it this week during the things you’re already doing: getting ready for bed, bath time, meals, playtime, or reading a book together. Once it starts to feel natural, add another.

And remember to notice and respond to all of your child’s communication attempts, whether they use a look, gesture, sound, sign, or word.  Small changes in the way you interact throughout the day can add up to lots of opportunities for your child to communicate and learn.

When should I get help? 

If you are concerned about your child’s speech, language, or communication development, you don’t have to “wait and see.” You know your child best, and it’s okay to ask questions. A speech-language pathologist can look at the whole communication picture and help determine whether support is needed. And I always remind parents, even if speech therapy isn’t recommended, an evaluation will give you valuable insight into how your child’s communication is developing and what you can do to support them.